Do you ever just feel kind of stuck?
Not necessarily in a bad way but just in a blah way. Not feeling like you’re moving forward. Or rather unsure of what direction to actually be moving in?
I’ve been been feeling that way lately. And I’ve felt a little off.
The last few months I just haven’t felt completely in-sync with myself. I’ve been plugged in a lot… reading blogs like a mad woman, taking/scrolling through pictures on instagram, dabbling on twitter, and basically just filling my attention with whatever I can find. My iphone is very good at keeping my attention occupied.
I think its a bad coping mechanism for feeling like I don’t have a clear direction at the moment. I’ve got some good things going on and God has provided for me in out-of-the-blue type of ways, but I still feel like the picture is a little fuzzy. And so, I’ve been living vicariously through other people either on facebook, instagram, or blogs because I feel like “those” people have it together a little bit. There pictures seem to be in focus, and engaging with theirs means I can avoid the headache of wrestling with my own.
Its only for so long that I can avoid things though. I guess its only as long as I can stand to have that “off” feeling inside of me. That feeling that some part of me is not being fulfilled, or utilized, or attended to. The quiet/ introspective/contemplative part of myself has been shoved to side so that I can look at instagram one more time. And I miss her.
I’ve noticed that she’s been gone but I haven’t been able to put my finger on it. I just thought it was an ebb and flow situation and she’d be back soon. I think I was wrong. Because as true as it is that we ebb and flow through life we also must attend to and nurture as well. Those require thought, intention, and action.
I was trying to make this dessert paleo because this boy that I love is eating like a caveman these days. I, of course, will not let him go without dessert so this was my first attempt.
I combined butter, flaxseed meal, sliced almonds, raw honey, and coconut flour to make the topping. The best way to do that is just use your hands. Like a caveman.
Fresh blueberries and marionberries get washed and set in a bowl. A spoonful of honey and a couple teaspoons of cornstarch are added to the berries. After mixing together, the berries sit for about 5 minutes to get their juices flowing.
Drips of berry juice are sure to get on your counter… its part of the process…
This crisp was full of blueberry and marionberry flavor. I didn’t add a lot of honey to the berries so the crisp was less sweet than most that I’ve had, which I prefer. The topping has a slight coconut flavor from the flour and adds great crunch and texture.
To be totally honest, I was kind of just adding as I went. The following recipe is more of a guideline. I approximated most of the measurements but it turned out great. If you like your crisp on the sweeter side feel free to use regular sugar or add more honey. The topping can be made with wheat flour if you don’t have coconut on hand. A little cinnamon or ginger would create another layer of flavor. Crisps are forgiving so don’t be afraid to take a bit of chance!
Blueberry Marionberry Crisp
Recipe from my crazy brain
- 1 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen
- 1 cup marionberries, fresh or frozen
- 2 1/2 Tablespoons raw honey
- 2 teaspoons cornstarch
- 1/2 cup sliced almonds
- 2 Tablespoons ground flaxseed meal
- 4 Tablespoons coconut flour
- 2 Tablespoons butter, cold
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Place berries in a medium sized bowl. Add cornstarch and 1 1/2 tablespoons honey. Mix until incorporated and set aside.
- In a small bowl combine coconut flour, almonds, flaxseed meal, butter and honey. Cut butter into other ingredients with your fingers or two forks until they are about the size of a pea.
- Pour berries into oven safe baking dish. Top berries with crisp topping. Place in the oven and bake for about 25 minutes.
- Remove from oven and let cool slightly. Serve warm with a scoop of ice cream!